no one is youer than you

Words can't describe how amazing I feel this week. I have turned a major corner, separated my future from my past, and started down this new adventure. I did things just for me and no one else. I took a glass blowing class, saw friends, went out, stayed in, whatever struck my fancy. Now I am waiting for that final piece to come into play before I am off to a new place with new people, new things to do and see.

I can't wait!

One a day

I have decided to do at least one thing every day that will move me in one way or another towards my ultimate life goals. Today I spent time working on school applications. Not terribly exciting but definitely necessary. It has been 12 days since I started this new chapter of my life and I have never felt better. I have been set free.

If G-d Leads You To It, He'll Lead You Through It

The Love Song of  J. Alfred Prufrock

 I have always loved this poem. For some reason this specific section kept coming to mind today:

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

Do I dare? Do I dare to make choices that may alter the course of my life irrevocably? Do I dare forge a new path ahead, into the unknown, without a guide, a map or even an idea of where I'm headed?

Without hesitation, I must answer yes. I have no choice really. I have been caught, unprepared, in a situation where the only option is to move forward. This is a test of my strength and composition. I have what it takes. Its just been waiting to come out. 

I feel like a bird that has been set free. I may not know where I am flying yet, but I'm flying. 

That's really all that matters.

This is the start of something new

Life can change course drastically in one week. Changes, regardless of good or bad are hard. Hard, but not impossible. This is the start of something new. A new chapter, a new adventure. A week ago I would have told you that I knew who I would marry, where we would live and what we would do for the rest of our lives. Fast forward one week and everything is up for discussion. It is thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. I don't know where life's going to take me or what's in store for the next year, but I know it will be amazing. The remaining 25 days of september are the kick off for the rest of my life. A happy, independent, and fulfilled life where I can live up to everything I can be. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over...

She Became a Butterfly